I am inclined to think that one's education has been in vain if one fails to learn that most schoolmasters are idiots.

A man's character never changes radically from youth to old age. What happens is that circumstances bring out characteristics which have not been obvious to the superficial observer.

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

When people are old enough to know better they are old enough to do worse.

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

Misquotation is the pride and privilege of the learned.

Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from womb to tomb, and, when we are least expecting it, deals us a series of crushing blows from behind.

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

Never neglect an opportunity to play leap-frog; it is the best of all games, and, unlike the terribly serious and conscientious pastimes of modern youth, will never become professionalized.

The English public doesn't really like Shakespeare; it prefers football.

We can't help it. Life looks for life.

Capitalism is war socialism is peace.

People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard.

And oh I want so much to sing, I tell myself no. But it is so hard to keep from singing.

There is no security. Only opportunity.

My music doesn't sound punk, but I see it as a punk action.

Holiness is not freedom from temptation, but power to overcome temptation.

Leisure is gone,--gone where the spinning-wheels are gone, and the pack-horses, and the slow wagons, and the peddlers, who brought bargains to the door on sunny afternoons.

At banquets surfeit not, but fill; partake, and retire; and eat not again till you crave.

Who can wrestle against Sleep? - Yet is that giant very gentleness.