I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!

Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

It is almost impossible to say the name of Thai prime minister Yingluck Shinawat without adding 'give a dog a bone'

When you consider what Tony Blair was saying about liberty, human rights and that sort of thing, it would be terribly revolutionary to sell the speeches he and Jack Straw made in 1994.

I had an Edinburgh, middle-class childhood and a public school education.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

Tony Blair has always said he will be judged by history. Now Alastair Campbell is history we await his judgment.

I used to do my Nelson Mandela voice to blag restaurant tables in Cape Town. It rarely worked. Now what a great city that is.

When George Bush finally leaves the White House, the satire industry will briefly join the rest of the economy in recession. It will certainly be the end of an era.

Desire blazed, passion raged.

You'll do well, Percy. Just remember your strengths and beware your weaknesses.

We cannot abandon this rabbit hole for fear of a traumatic encounter with our own culture.

There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.

When our new armies are ready it seems folly to send them to Flanders, where they will chew barbed wire, or be wasted in futile frontal attacks.

What a lot of people don't understand is that the music that they're hearing is usually months, and in some cases, years old. So I'm a lot better than whatever material people have been hearing.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

Well, who’s real? The living or the dead?

While doing work if the mind continues to be active let it be so, but there must be at the same time a capacity for silence.

Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep for the dead I loved so well.