I am not certain of the hereafter. Frankly, I'm not all that certain of the here.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Humility puts others first because "first" takes on new meaning through the practice of humility.

If (or rather when) you move to death, you’ll learn its language through the educational process known as total immersion. (7)

But however measurable, there is much more life in music than mathematics or logic ever dreamed of.

I think that strength levels go hand in hand with building a great physique. You've got to lift heavy weight to get big - period.

I used to think that driving, sleepless, ambitious labor was what you needed to succeed.

A critic is to an author as a fungus to an oak.

Everybody who does not live in a prostitute's bed and on a diet of cocaine snow is called an ascetic nowadays.

There's no doubt that Iran funds and supplies Hamas with weapons.

Death, in the final analysis, is only the easiest and quickest means to go back to God. If only we could make people understand that we come from God and that we have to go back to Him!

I don't tend to get girls as fans. I just get all the young guys and weirdos.