I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

One is never wounded by the love one gives, only by the love one expects.

Every story is true and a lie. The true part of this one is: Love and the memory of love can't be drowned. The lie part is that this is a good thing.

Driving a stolen plane will be nothing compared to the ride with a fired-up Scot.

Laughter, I realized, was the reverberating sound of a truth hitting a lie.

In Iraq we must succeed. Failure is not an option.

To sustain your belief through situations that completely undermine it is quite something.

There is literally no such thing as an idea that cannot be expressed well and articulately to today's voters in thirty seconds.

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.

From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.