I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California.

My whole act is confession.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance.

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

I am careful with my material and presentation.

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

I am not to be underestimated. Overestimated, maybe, but underestimated? No.

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

Being in home is like magic moments, in a magic world, among magicians.

Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too, ” said the snake.

International law now grants rights to all human beings, not only to citizens.

Let the gods into your life and you rapidly lose faith in the natural laws.

The penalty that good men pay for not being interested in politics is to be governed by men worse than themselves.

Never speak ill of an absent friend.

It just feels like Erwin and me... even at night I don't feel I have to look pretty in bed.

There’s definitely times when you’re frustrated for whatever reason, but that happens on fifty million dollar movies when you have a huge trailer, so who cares?