I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Security is a double-edged sword: While a fence sure protects the fenced

I don't create controversies. They're there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention.

The great are not famous, and the famous are not great

There's the world of the newspapers. They believe that what is happening is happening, which is so naïve. Because they're the first to turn on that.

Those who have not more must be satisfied with what they have.

To be contemplative we must become converted to the consciousness that makes us one with the universe, in tune with the cosmic voice of God.

Traditionally, songwriters can't sing. And that holds true in my case, also.

In true education, anything that comes to our hand is as good as a book: the prank of a page- boy, the blunder of a servant, a bit of table talk - they are all part of the curriculum.

I fly with the stars in the skies I am no longer trying to survive.

I'm a competitor. I really enjoyed the race more than just going out and running to run.