I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

When Small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set.

I still feel-kind of temporary about myself.

the power of a text is not time-bound. The words go on doing their work.

This idea of how everything is interconnected, and the impermanence of things.. It sums up the human condition to me, and it helps me on my path.

The first Decline I did was out of sheer love and appreciation for the music. In 1977, it was more about bands, because punk was a new form of music. It was groundbreaking and political.

In the presence of nature, a wild delight runs through the man, in spite of real sorrows.

The Republican Party was just as scared of the Tea Party as the Democrats were. We just didn't know it at the time.

Bad cooking is responsible for more trouble at sea than all other things put together.

A spiritual prayer is a humble prayer. Prayer is the asking of an alms, which requires humility... The lower the heart descends, the higher the prayer ascends.

It's the old case against symbols: if you get them, they seem obvious and artificial, and if you don't, you miss the whole point.