I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

Leave no stone unturned. Leave no bone unbroken. Drive your life with care and don’t dose off while you do so. If you don’t wake up, you are likely miss you way!

When you’re a manager, you work for your company. When you’re a leader, your company works for you.

How many famous and high-spirited heroes have lived a day too long?

I just love the feeling a close family gives you and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Despite the protestations, one sometimes wonders if we are beginning to worship, worship rather than worship God.

On every thorn, delightful wisdom grows, In every rill a sweet instruction flows.

I really believe in challenging myself, pushing myself to new places.

Ours is a colourful and diversified world. It is also a complex one.

The consciousness in each man is a sliding scale, which identifies him now with the First Cause, and now with the flesh of his body; life above life, in infinite degrees.

How could any of us truly appreciate our lives if we had nothing else to compare them to?