I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.

Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice.

I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.

Don't just stand there and nod. The mind observes and cogitates, the heart engages, and I would encourage you to engage with the process.

Life turns to be colorless when people you trust the most ignore in times of sorrow.

No king has a throne more beautiful than a bench covered with the autumn leaves!

There is no religion higher than Truth.

Secretary of State Colin Powell, thank you so much, as always, for joining us this morning.

Never while anything is left of me shall this... camp be forgotten. It has fairly grown into me, not merely as memory pictures, but as part and parcel of mind and body alike.

Getting married is the most fun you can have in life. Being married sucks

When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women on Twitter. It's a daily reminder that women get to be funny.

To will oneself moral and to will oneself free are one and the same decision.

Perhaps it is this specter that most haunts working men and women: the planned obsolescence of people that is of a piece with the planned obsolescence of the things they make. Or sell.