I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather.

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.

Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.

It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.

I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.

London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.

When the impossible has been eliminated, all that remains no matter how improbable is possible.

I've always privately suspected that Jesus is in favor of revolutionaries, seeing as how he was a bit of one himself.

All the United States, it is a society that is split like to the bottom, that had very poor people in the country that is one of the wealthiest countries.

You've got to forget about this civilian. Whenever you drop bombs, you're going to hit civilians.

I am in a charity out there to stop violence against women.

I'm certainly not a linguist. I learned what languages I could learn in order to read books and I can't really speak them. I couldn't have stayed out of jail in most of them.

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

In my opinion, an individual without any love of the arts cannot be considered completely civilized.

Well, as an artist, I think that Elvis's generosity to me he always talked very highly about me, he always spoke very highly about my work and singing and my writing.

I'm with the Grimms on this: stories for young and old. You can't characterize them any better than that.

A warrior does not beg for his life. ~Izuru Kira