I am the victim of a fortunate series of accidents.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

There is no other force destroying us like ignorance.

Perhaps she wasn't ill at all in the end, but simply more revealed.

New York State is upside down and backwards; high taxes and low performance.

One does not contradict the other.Straight-faced is the basis of all decent comedy.

Don’t you love the Oxford Dictionary? When I first read it, I thought it was a really really long poem about everything.

How could youths better learn to live than by at once trying the experiment of living?

Although military, economic and political strength certainly favors the more powerful side, the matter of simple justice is a counterbalancing factor.

You’ll find your one-in-a-million. But you’re sharp enough to know there’s no point in sludging through the first nine hundred, ninety-nine thousand, and ninety-nine to get to him.

Do people have confidence? I think the real confidence you need is the confidence in your outlook, and I think people are pretty confident it is a low-growth world.

I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.