I ask myself why I do it [work]. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

We are even better looking on the small screen

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I shave without using shaving cream.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

I squinted at her. “You’re an adult.” “You’re an adult too.” “But you’re an older adult. You’ve had more practice.” Mom leaned back and laughed.

Citizens who refuse to obey anything but their own conscience can transform countries, it is the basis of any real democracy.

Back to culture. Yes, actually to culture. You can’t consume much if you sit still and read books.

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow

I'm just really thankful to have the chance to portray a character you don't see every day.

It gets boring at home. How many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on TV?

Whatever your goal in life, be proud of every day that you are able to work in that direction.

We are going to have to continue to keep the pressure on the enemy. There is no room for complacency on this.

That's instinct, you catch and you shoot. I've done it hundreds of thousands of times in my driveway. It's what I've practiced.

The human capacity for self-delusion is boundless, and the effects of belief are overpowering.