I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

The past will disappear if we forget we existed".

No one showed any signs of recognizing me. I didn't know what I'd do if they did, other than lie like a devil and pray like a saint.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will poke out his eye to fit in.

Listen, here's what I'd like to do: I'd like to live in a trailer and play records all night.

Our children do not need a makeover, they just need to be understood. If you understand their emotional needs now, you can save them a lifetime of searching for what they never had as a child.

To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.

There is nothing in which men more deceive themselves than in what they call zeal.

Profits are the driving force of the market economy. The greater the profits, the better the needs of the consumers are supplied... He who serves the public best, makes the highest profits.

I look at problems as opportunities and use every person, every incident, and every encounter as an opportunity to show a more loving part of myself.

Who would not spout the family teapot in order to talk with Keats for an hour about poetry, or with Jane Austen about the art of fiction?