I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don't remember what I said last night.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.

I think imagination is a crazy thing, and that's what makes the world go around.

I'm pretty much the one that goes to the mound.

I'm one of those people who just doesn't plan my personal life. I plan my professional life.

To me, the difference between mythology and real history is that the real history has to tell a kind of believable story of how things happened. The physics has to work.

Not to be miserable is all some people are capable of.

Well, you can't be trying to achieve success of any kind in this business without accepting that there's going to be a flip side to it.

Harriet never minded admitting she didn't know something. So what, she thought, I could always learn.

Stealing things is a glorious occupation, particularly in the art world.

A man ain't nothing but a man. But a son? Well, now, that's somebody.