I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.

I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

Identity was partly heritage, partly upbringing, but mostly the choices you make in life. ~ Bran

The one who praises you is a thief. The one who criticizes you is your true friend.

The Lord chose Joseph Smith, called upon him at fourteen years of age, gave him vision, and led him along, guided and directed him in his obscurity.

The criterion of true beauty is that it increases on examination; if false, that it lessens.

The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine's Day headquarters. Guys, if that's your Valentine's Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home.

Those who talk on the razor-edge of double-meanings pluck the rarest blooms from the precipice on either side.

As revealed by physics, the truth is so remarkable, so amazing!

I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

The paranoid is never entirely mistaken.

Selfishness makes Christmas a burden; Love makes it a delight. The joy of brightening a child's heart creates the magic of Christmas.