I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Memory Lane always seems to be under reconstruction.

Since the human mind is the primary weapon of the human being, it is also therefore the primary and most significant instrument of violence.

Your level of your concentration decides the extent of the realization of your dreams.

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.

It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".

See technology used to be our friends. But now, nobody is quite so sure.

Quite literally, your gut is the epicenter of your mental and physical health. If you want better immunity, efficient digestion, improved clarity and balance, focus on rebuilding your gut health

I learned that there's no reason why people decide they like music when they do.

I've won my last four matches by knockout. Out of 30 fights, I've won more than 20 by knockout. I think that a ballet dancer wouldn't win by knockout.