I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

I love to receive a beautiful postcard from your place of voyage.

The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit and not when they miss and commit to memory the one and forget and pass over the other.

That's what I love about Michael Douglas' performance in Wonder Boys, because I feel like he surprises audiences that know him from very different roles in his other work.

I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die.

In order to have friends, you must first be one.

A City that parlies is half gotten. [A city that parleys is half gotten.]

Give what you have. To some one, it may be better than you dare to think.

I realized [using my own voice] is what creates the performance in the performance art and that's what helps creates the distance for the viewers, like the distance that I get when I step back.

The benefits of studying abroad are almost endless.

Grace never ignores the awful truth of our depravity; in fact it emphasizes it. The worse we realize we are the greater we realize God's grace.