I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

Lineage, personality, and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential.

Suffering is a part of real life lesson.

God wants the simplicity and accessibility of Jesus Christ to be your main quality

Yosemite Valley, to me, is always a sunrise, a glitter of green and golden wonder in a vast edifice of stone and space.

One sad thing about this world is that the acts that take the most out of you are usually the ones that people will never know about. (from 'Celestial Navigation')

In what might be a motto of those who sought the presidency and lost, Ted Kennedy once said, "Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is."

When I could no longer cling to my normal supports I discovered that true support and real safety lie far beyond the structures of our world.

You're messing up my highlights.

I can't imagine playing a boring gig. Like, a boring audience without reaction, I will play against them.