I believe that no discovery of fact, however trivial, can be wholly useless to the race, and that no trumpeting of falsehood, however virtuous in intent, can be anything but vicious.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

It is not work that kills men

When you create something out of nothing it's the most thrilling thing.

Love is woman's business,and in "business" we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.

For the artist, drawing is discovery. And that is not just a slick phrase; it is quite literally true.

"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."

It is true that legality is not morality, and sticking to the law is necessary for good citizenship, but it is not sufficient.

I also hang the pictures low rather than high, and particularly in the case of the largest ones, often as close to the floor as is feasible, for that is the way they are painted.

Nothing in the world was ever built without a dream at the beginning.

If I'd made it right away as an actor, I would've stopped at a certain level and stayed there, probably as a character actor.

We're gonna totally sell out and try to dominate the world