I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

Imagination just wasn't up to the task of understanding unique and foreign sensations. It knew only how to dampen or augment what it already knew. - Juliette, Pg. 139

I think marriage is all about timing.

Never define people or situations in terms of their effect on you, unless you want to give them the power to make you feel that way.

...because a life without meaning, without drive or focus, without dreams or goals, isn't a life worth living.

Well, subconsciously I suppose some things must stick but I'm not influenced consciously by them.

How much more courage it took to be kind than to be cruel.

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

As a matter of fact, one of the things in Obamacare is that for the elderly, every five years you must have end-of-life counseling. Translation: suicide counseling.

Physical exercise makes you more graceful. After some gymnasitics you walk as if the whole street is yours.

People are always the start for meanimals. When I can get into their heads, gods, supernatural beings,immortals, the deadthese are all people to me.