I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

The more you perform, the more adept you get at the nuances of navigating that communal conversation.

The blues is a hopeful music. It helps you process something rather than avoid it. It's like mourning, in essence.

I think there comes a time in any comedian's career where they can either coast or keep growing and evolving.

Comedy takes all of life and puts it through a lens of acceptance, just by the mere act of talking about it on stage in a communal setting. It's very primal and ritualistic in that sense.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

Comedians act every night on stage, so they have great performing chops. They especially know how to play themselves, which is how we set 'Teachers Lounge' up.

It always comes down to what the crowd buys coming out of your mouth, which differs from one comic to the next.

Never ever stop dreaming. You will make it big one day. What is life without our struggles? Our struggles give us insight and depth into life.

It is better to travel well than to arrive.

If I diminish you, I diminish myself

Anybody is influenced by where and how he lives.

Association with women is the basis of good manners.

I think that where I've watched a movie go wrong, it's usually because the dread committee has been interfering with it.

Dear Mr. President, can I ask you a question, when the bombs fall down will they hurt everyone in my family?

I tend to tell stories that have a lot of momentum; it's not like 'and then months later...' I like things where the momentum of one action rolls into the next one so everything is the sum of that.

Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

I actually did a lot of improvised movies or movies that were partially improvised.