I bet you don't know what is the first thing Little Leaguers always ask me, 'How much money do you make?'

It's a good thing I stayed in Cincinnati for four years -- It took me that long to learn how to spell it.

Well, there are three things that the average man thinks he can do better than anybody else. Build a fire, run a hotel and manage a baseball team.

You mix two jiggers of Scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.

The trouble with having a wired jaw is that you can never tell when you're sleepy. You can't yawn.

The main quality a great third base coach must have is a fast runner.

On Jose Gonzalez changing his name to Jose Uribe: 'He was definitely the player to be named later.'

I've had more numbers on my back than a bingo board.

The key to liberation resides within our very own hands and heart.

It was the hour of a profound human change, and excitement was generating on the air.

I won't have to miss smoking any more. Nobody smokes where I'm going: It's like a row of restaurants in California.

The fact that I have been successful merely means that I can write and illustrate in my own way.

Human cloning is coming.

Psychopaths don't have that charming skill set. They definitely manipulate, but they do it through focused, unskilled means. They're more obsessive.

When envoys are sent with compliments in their mouths, it is a sign that the enemy wishes for a truce.

The English are a dumb people. They can do great acts, but not describe them.

It is the very error of the moon; She comes more nearer earth than she was wont, And makes men mad.

His emotion evident in the glitter of his eyes.