I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The ox feels the yoke, but does the bird feel the weight of its wings?

A man whose life has been transformed by Christ cannot help but have his worldview show through.

This is a mad planet," David Bowie said in 1971. "It's doomed to madness.

I'm just an old maid with an attraction to men.

Christ is the meat, the bread, the food of our souls. Nothing is in him of a higher spiritual nourishment than his love, which we should always desire.

We would do well to ask ourselves the kind of fundamental questions posed by [Buruma's] erudite and thought-provoking book.

You should prepare when you go to a public event to be public. That's when I will sign autographs. But not when you're going about your normal business.

I was raised to stand up for myself, if I feel I'm in the right. Maybe it would have been best if I'd just gone home with my swollen cheek.

The only lies for which we are truly punished are those we tell ourselves.

Words that may be firm in information can be soft in spirit.