I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

We all have potential for greatness in ourselves. The only thing we need to do is to find it.

How can you pass laws about things that nobody knows?""They do it all the time, " says Hayden. "That's what law is: educated guesses at right and wrong.

The state it cannot too often be repeated does nothing and can give nothing which it does not take from somebody.

What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

The litmus test for whether I want to take on a role or not is usually fear. If Im afraid of it, then I want to do it.

For me, the process always has to be pretty intense. I could never write just two or three days a week. It had to be every day.

The Mind that lies fallow but a single Day, sprouts up in Follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous Culture.

On the surface of the ocean, men wage war and destroy each other; but down here, just a few feet beneath the surface, there is a calm and peace, unmolested by man

A lot of first novels are written long before they're actually put down on paper.

Painting is much more than therapy to me its a way of life.