I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

What are we fighting for?. We bring nothing into the world, we will take nothing into the grave.

In your very imperfections you will find the basis for your firm, way-seeking mind.

There's a choice?""Always. It's the outcome that sadly limits things.

Be a man and breathe life back into the woman in me.

Journalists don't need a get-out-of-jail-free card, ... Instead we should be given more access to information.

There are worse places to be than on your own.

I don't think people are born artists; I think it comes from a mixture of your surroundings, the people you meet, and luck.

The crowds at Flushing Meadow are about as impartial as a Nuremberg Rally.

You cannot live in the best city in the world and have people living on the streets.

Having life experiences outside of acting is something my family has always made sure happens.