I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

If you have Lost something, there's always something Coming, just live by to see it.

I know much less about why God allows people to suffer than I know that He Himself is a suffering God.

I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead.

I have yet to figure out a better way to combat hate than to love harder.

Modern materialists and religious extremists alike lack the spiritual animistic reverence for non-human beings that every culture once understood as a given.

I tell so many lies, sweetheart," he said. "which one specifically?

I'm not perfect. But clothes help. A good bra with some underwire definitely helps a lot!

If there's something that you hear on TV about me, just call me and I'll tell you if it's true.

Taking people on a journey is the fundamental element of underground dance music. I don't sell records.

If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what.