I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.

Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.

Faith is knowing that when life doesn’t go quite as planned, it is, in fact. exactly as planned.

Q: How can I help myself?A: By remembering the proverb: ‘The Path is not to be found anywhere except in human service’, from Saadi.

You are afraid of me, because I talk like a sphinx.

when people say you're charming you are in deep trouble.

Self-leadership is about awareness, tolerance , and not letting your own natural tendencies limit your potential.

I always wondered what hearing one's own obituary might sound like, and I sort of feel like I may have just heard part of it at least.

I will take as a given that, for most people, somewhere between six and seven billion of them, the perfect job is the one that takes the least time.

My challenges have not been around music. My hardest thing in music was just sitting down and teaching myself how to play and believing in myself.

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to Heaven.