I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.

I slept cause she cheated. She slept cause I cheated! WTF! We Need? Let's buy a loyal bed.

The Internet was a wonderful invention. It was a computer network which people used to remind other people that they were awful pieces of shit.

We are God's middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

Wherever the European has trod, death seems to pursue the aboriginal.

As an incarnation of love you put up with flack until it becomes detrimental to a person.

Things are not necessarily logical. Logic is a secondary source reference. Everything is what it is. We have decided to apply rationale to things. It makes us feel better.

When your conscience says law is immoral, don't follow it.

I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

You know, there have been a lot of casualties in rock-n-roll.