I can only develop a stand-up show by being on stage. I can't write it. Whenever I see comedy written down, it very rarely makes me laugh.

Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.

On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night.

I don't think interviewing people is any different than normal communication. The only thing is that it has these boundaries set upon it as to what the conversation is about.

For me, a tour show should have a narrative; it should have an arc. It shouldn't just be, "Here's one joke, here's another joke." That's not my style. They all have to somehow link together.

Why did you give up hope?

Regardless of all our pretenses, deep within, we are still unconsciously the same old cave-people.

This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.

Humor is necessary - it allows the reader to come up for air before dunking them under again. I need humor and I need it on the page to keep the reader going.

If the movies that I'm going to make anyway go mainstream, that would be the coolest thing ever. But I have set up a plan that I've been working on for a long time.

Be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving your fellow creatures and drawing them near to the Law.

I wish to create trends rather than follow them.

I'll sing as long as I can because I enjoy doing that. I enjoy the fans and what I do. I love the traveling and the hotels and just seeing the world over and over again.

And the Devil did grin, for his darling sin is pride that apes humility.