I can say that. I have a television show.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

It is only safe to mock a crocodile when you have crossed the river.

What is in great demand, but scarce, is expensive, but even when wisdom is not in demand it is priceless.

Modern civilisation has based its specific foundation on the principle of liberty which states that man is not a mere instrument to be used by others but rather a main autonomous living being.

Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

We had cocktail parties and I'd stay up until 5 in the morning.

I love glamorous women. Hugh adores glamour, as well. Im completely behind women dressing up and looking as good as they can.

Take a job, do it for ten years and work at it, and you'll succeed. Can I just add, take a job that you enjoy. If you don't enjoy the job, it's going to be a decade of hell.

I do not gather things, I prefer to rent them rather than to possess them.

Most of nature is inherently chaotic. It's not rigidly determined in the old sense. It's not rigidly predictable.