I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

It is not all about what you can get but all about what you can give

Don’t give up! Keep trying, your victory is certain.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

No community dictates to any individual how to live their lives. You can criticize and you can push but people freely choose.

My father taught me respect for quality as well as a sense of dignity - great values as we face a world going in a different direction. I try to teach my children to stay close to the real things.

How many beginnings before you see the lies in your excitement?

I am very proud of my father and what he's accomplished. It is amazing.

The comic world has its own limitations, as everything does. I adore it, I respect it, but it's not going to take over all of me.

I have a girlfriend, but I don't really want to talk about her. I won't name her. She isn't in show business, has nothing to do with it. So I'd rather just keep her out of it.

Meditation is a death - death of all that you are now. Of course there will be a resurrection, but that will be a totally new, fresh original being which you are not even aware is hidden in you.