I can't even trust my own imaginary dog. How much lower can a person get?

Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.

I don't get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.

The imagination can be dangerous. It can change the world. And that is why we write.

Self-knowledge is essential not only to writing, but to doing almost anything really well. It allows you to work through from a deep place - from the deep, dark corners of your subconscious mind.

Osbert was the only one who didn't seem suspicious. He was so interested in the Decline of Western Civilization that he missed the version of it taking place under his nose.

This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.

While working in advertising, I channelled my creative energy into elaborate escape fantasies: cake making, dog breeding, the Peace Corps.

Things Happen and once they start happening you pretty much just to hold on for dear life and see where they drop you when they stop.

If you haven't been in a war and are wondering how long it takes to get used to losing everything you think you need or love, I can tell you the answer is no time at all.

The soldier had stamped my passport FAMILY in heavy black capital letters and I checked it now for reassurance and because I liked how fierce the word looked

If you are frustrated with the elite of your society, do something about it.

The purpose of God as a creator is based in a profound need resident within the Godhead

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.

You can't live on amusement. It is the froth on water - an inch deep and then the mud.

Be bold. You gotta be bold.

I have never actually watched 'Glee.' I have heard it is just fantastic.

The only way to know whats possible is to venture past impossible.

Finally I am becoming stupider no more.

Last time Congress passed a major six-year transportation bill was in 1997, since then there have been 21 short-term extensions.

Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.