I can't give money away to buy listeners. I can't pay listeners off with phones or food stamps or anything. I can't come by my audience by buying it.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

A woman in love with herself is magnetic.

I think that laughter and smiling are some of the best antidotes to ageing that you could possibly have. In general, I pretty much think of myself as still being about 5.

Love teaches us how to penetrate the inner worlds, to clean the glass of existence and see reality in its perfect essence.

It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wished I could stop trying.

Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son.

Anyone who is honestly seeking a job and can't find it, deserves the attention of the United States government, and the people.

Well, if someone has got all the money in the world, they'd still want love.

I did a commercial when I was, like, 5 or 6 years old for... what was it called?... Cabbage Patch Kids! That was the first thing I ever did. Little bit embarrassing.

To exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event- always being controlled by forces external to oneself.