I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Everyone has the power to make a difference, to themselves and others, and to our world.

Winners learn from the past, live in the present, and lead into the future.

If Fortune calls offer him a seat.

Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

It's harder for me to work on a Forrest Gump kind of movie, where everything is invisible.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

All true tradition usually appears revolutionary.

Here was a strange but true fact: The closer you were to the market, the harder it was to perceive its folly.

Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals.

You must not fall. / When you lose your balance, resist for a long time before turning yourself toward the earth. Then jump. / You must not force yourself to stay steady. You must move forward.