I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.

How Superheroes Make Money: - Spider-Man knits sweaters. - Superman screw the lids on pickle jars. - Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any way.

The following ten throws went a variety of places. I never hit the target, but I was getting closer. Isabella was laughing so hard she wrote "Please stop can't breathe" in the dirt with her finger.

My mom is a teacher, my dad was a writer for television, his dad was a writer for television, and combining those two has been sort of the goal of my life.

Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love.

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.

I have people close to me who ask my advice just as I ask theirs.

I want what I want when I want it.

I view my hair and clothes as functional art.

Aid can work where there is good governance, and usually fails where governments are unable or unwilling to commit aid to improve the lives of their people.

Democracy has both expanded and declined over the years.

I went to Princeton in the fall of 1930 as a half-time instructor.

Originality is nothing but judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another.