I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Love never could be overdone or go out of style.

He would pray...for everyone who knew pain, which meant everyone who wore a human face.

In order to show your best skills and talents-you must share them, or no one will ever know they exist- Lorenzo Victory

The quintessential expression of coffee is espresso.

The search for causes must come after the collection of facts.

Love is strong in its passion; affection is powerful in its gentleness.

In painting, detail for the sake of itself is useless. It must have relevance to the whole.

I don't want to get into political mudslinging.

Whatever we do lays a seed in our deepest consciousness, and one day that seed will grow.

Discontent is the first necessity of progress.