I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

She came as everything I had dreamed of. <3And the worst part? She remained a dream. :')

Police can only act on intelligence.

Southerners smile more than other Americans.

If you ever tell anyone about Jonah's sexual dysfunction, I'll never play music again.

NASCAR racing provides more brand awareness and interest than any of the other major sports. The opportunities to build business-to-business relationships within the racing community are endless.

Never write about a place until you're away from it, because that gives you perspective

The only reason runaway global warming seems unstoppable is that we have not yet tried to stop it.

Basically, at this time, I viewed any work of art as an imposition of another person's taste and saw the individual making this imposition as a kind of dictator.

Haste and escape for your lives, look not behind you, escape to the mountain, lest you be consumed.

You had a majority of Americans saying that [Donald Trump] would take the country in the right direction or I think he would make real change, real change.