I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

If you're going to be a sinner, be the best sinner on the block.

Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy.

Up until I was eleven years old, I thought I was the only one of my kind in the world. I couldn't find anybody else who felt as I did.

Our first Prime Minister saw a country that would be known for its generosity of spirit. And so it is.

Strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go.

Next to war, art is the greatest way to immortalize a reputation.

Do it with passion, or not at all.

Sri Lanka is a small island, and the war affected everybody. Everybody knew somebody who was killing or being killed.

There will be as much deceit and criminality in the world as there is lack of art.