I can't text. My fingers are too big.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

A man's ego can drive him either to heights of glory or to depths of misery!

It is very expensive to give bad medical care to poor people in a rich country.

Companies preach creativity, hire for conformity and call consultants when they fail who tell them to be more creative.

Oh, very good, ' interrupted Snape, his lip curling. 'Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent.

When I read something by someone... I like to dive in his world as much as possible.

People learn at the rate they are going to learn.

My father and all my uncles on both sides served in the military in World War II and Korea.

What's the sense of sending $2 million missiles to hit a $10 tent that's empty?

There shall be equality of treatment and opportunity for all persons in the armed services without regard to race, color, religion or national origin.

Why does the writing make us chase the writer? Why can't we leave well enough alone? Why aren't the books enough?