I can't understand guys who just have to have your autograph. What do you do when you get home, take it out & look at it?

'Swing' is an adjective or a verb, not a noun. All jazz musicians should swing. There is no such thing as a 'swing band' in music.

If you don’t see the wonder in the most ordinary phenomenon, you’re not going to resonate very much.

If you wanna dance, a windshield wiper'll do it-all you need is a beat.

I did all you can do with a clarinet. Any more would have been less.

Jazz was born out of the whiskey bottle, was raised on marijiana, and will expire on cocaine.

You have no idea of the women I didn't marry.

An audience is in many respects no more than a mob under loose control.

The good old days are neither better nor worse than the ones we're living through right now.

An entertainer pleases others while an artist only has to please himself.

Somebody asked me once, 'Do you think that swing will ever come back?' And I said, 'Do you think the 1938 Ford will ever come back?'

At least when it comes to light pollution what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas.

Azhrarn, Lord of Terrors, terrified.

Now when I bore people at a party they think it's their fault.

The greater man the greater courtesy.

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

Hitler admired Stalin, quite properly seeing himself as a mere infant in crime compared to his great exemplar.

Can anybody be given creativity? No. Only equipment to develop it if it's in them in the first place.

A train of thought is never false. The falsehood lies deep in the necessities of existence.

We might define an eccentric as a man who is a law unto himself, and a crank as one who, having determined what the law is, insists on laying it down to others.

The more you adapt, the more interesting you are.