I can't wait for the Republican debates to start and there's literally 65 guys on one stage.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Seek knowledge of thy soul.

Trees, their incremental gymnastics and noisy silence, are another wonder of Outside to me.

Talking is like playing on the harp there is as much in laying the hand on the strings to stop their vibrations as in twanging them to bring out their music.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.

If envy were the cause of terrorism, Beverly Hills [and] Fifth Avenue ... would have become targets long ago.

Try approving of yourself just as you are, and spoiling yourself rotten with small kid's pleasures.

If you don't make Christmas presents, meaning making something that's so emotionally connected to people, don't talk to me.

Show me why your regulation of culture is needed. Show me how it does good. And until you can show me both, keep your lawyers away.

In any war who pulls their general out? No one.