I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

This country was filled with violent children orphaned by war.

Marriage, she felt, was a fine arrangement generally, except that one never got it generally. One got it very, very specifically.

There are many, many, many worlds branching out at each moment you become aware of your environment and then make a choice.

I have always loved magic realism as a form of writing. I have also been fascinated for a long time with the intersection of science and religion.

There's a notion I'd like to see buried: the ordinary person. Ridiculous. There is no ordinary person.

First group impressions can mask a lot of individual variations in the members.

I'll never graduate from collagen.

A tool is but the extension of a man's hand, and a machine is but a complex tool. And he that invents a machine augments the power of a man and the well-being of mankind.

Warlock D. J. Prod of Didsbury says: “My wife used to sneer at my feeble charms, but one month into your fabulous Kwikspell course and I succeeded in turning her into a yak! Thank you, Kwikspell!

Nothing dumb ever starts out stupid.