I cannot be made into the commentator for the unspoken black masses.

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.

Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.

When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.

I want the news delivered unbiased. I thought that was the whole point with journalism.

I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.

I don't want the news to be patriotic. I don't want to see flags on the lapels of the anchors. I don't want any of that.

One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let's say it this way: I'm really late.

We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He's really dumb.

When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.

Because of dreams, success is worth pursuing. Because of love, life is worth living.

Life is always at some turning point.

I love whenever they downgrade a hurricane to a tropical depression, because I always think of a tropical depression as how I feel three songs into a Jimmy Buffett concert.

It's difficult to have everybody like everything you do. I don't know anybody that's perfect and doesn't have a zit somewhere.

I had a dream. And I made that dream come true.

Who is Hunter Becker?" "Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?" "I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.

After a certain point, a heart with so many stress fractures can never be anything but broken.

I'd spent my childhood thinking bad things, bad things every day. It had made me sick, but it had made me determined.

To play in the World Cup and try to win something for England was the ultimate.

The weak can be terrible because they try furiously to appear strong.