I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.

A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.

This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

I ain't from Africa. I'm from St. Louis.

Appreciate all of life's beauty and express the deepest gratitude for all the abundance.

There's not much who would have hit him [Fabio Capello] in the eye and made him put his hat on.

We live always under the weight of the old and odious customs... of our barbarous ancestors.

A coward may die many times, but a brave man dies only once. If I die for you, I won't consider it death but love.

I'm a ghetto man who made good. I never forgot where I came from and who put me on top - God and Jack The Rapper.

With The Simpsons you can go back to work with a keen heart.

Never ask God to provide for you what you can provide for yourself. Get up and go get it because God will only provide what you can't.

It's the South that maintains the idea that they're different, which is interesting because nobody else really cares

You can never be too far away from a disaster, because there is no disaster-free zone in this entire universe!

When you are at sea, keep clear of the land.