I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

The victimization of children is nowhere forbidden

I like having my hair and face done, but I'm not going to lose weight because someone tells me to. I make music to be a musician not to be on the cover of Playboy.

I landed in this country with $2.50 in cash and $1 million in hopes, and those hopes never left me.

Remember your past mistakes just long enough to profit by them.

I wrote six pilots, none of which ever got picked up. When you stop trying, it then it falls in your lap.

I'm not a singer, and I'm not a brilliant dancer.

conceit is the devil's horse, and reformers generally ride it when they are in a hurry.

Crazy friends provide for crazy times, and such crazy times we're had.

Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything.

without you, dearest dearest I couldn't see or hear or feel or think - or live - I love you so and I'm never in all our lives going to let us be apart another night.