I come Des Moines. Somebody had to.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

That's the trouble with losing your mind; by the time it's gone, it's too late to get it back.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.

Protons give an atom its identity, electrons its personality.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

This poetry. I never know what I'm going to say.I don't plan it.When I'm outside the saying of it, I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

With passionate dedication and work hard, you will fulfill your dreams.

Your desire for increase is a sign that we are alive

Truth is after you've put out all the INFO to your Soldiers in formation they'll soon forget what you said but will never forget what you did behind those words.

You have to think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you're not.

If I could be anyone, it would be Brad Pitt.

Actors like to play bad guys because they're more fun. They also win more awards.

There are realms of life where the concepts of sense and nonsense do not apply.

I rather want my things to be copied than me copying. I would feel ashamed!

You have to work to carve out your own little corner, and I'm certainly smacking my head against the wall trying to make a dent. I just hope I don't get brain-damaged before I get there