I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.

Every child deserves to be a boat cast out in a sea of books.

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring.

I don’t know how to save the world, though I do know it involves a great deal of love and kindness.

Life is holy endured faith.

The monuments of wit survive the monuments of power.

The shadows along the streets were personal, and, every passing day, they seemed to grow longer and hungrier

Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.

Unless you are fulfilling your spiritual mission (and this is my opinion totally), you anaesthetize yourself or you wound yourself.

He is the least in want who is the least covetous.