I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown.

After women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.

I think well-read people - the world is open to them.

All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there's so many real reasons to hate others.

I always tell my mom I don't have regular problems. I have problems, like, what type of girl is going to say they're pregnant by me today? Those are the types of issues I have.

Love is about all the changes you make, and not just three small words

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

A crisis is a close encounter of the third kind.

We spend our lives searching for something we think we don't have, something that will make us happy. But the key to our deepest happiness lies in changing our vision of where to seek it.

I'm from an island, so I've always been near the water. I don't think I could live somewhere far from the sea.