I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Americans need rest, but do not know it.

Since I also act, sometimes I get over my resentment and commit to the pitch as an acting job.

To me, bigger is better.

You can see the latest dumbness as just the end of a long line of dumbnesses that have been taking place for thousands of years.

We have to struggle against the conservatives from all sides, not only the right-wingers, but also the left-wing conservatives who don't want to change anything.

Most cities are nouns. New York's a verb.

I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time when something wonderful has touched us.

If you have a strong mind and plant in it a firm resolve, you can change your destiny.

Learning hath gained most by those books by which the printers have lost.