I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Books, ' I say sleepily. 'They don't change either. If you read a book and look at it again later on, it's still the same thing. But it's exciting all over again.

I respect only those who resist me but cannot tolerate them.

I think my mom threatened to put me up for adoption a few times.

I.B.M. was my college education, effectively. They were very good at teaching you management.

It's been argued that of all the animals humans have domesticated, the horse is the most important to our history. For thousands of years, horses were our most reliable mode of transportation.

Cause somewhere in the Quizling Clinic, there's a shorthand typist taking seconds over minutes.

I don't like dynasty and legacy. But I think there's a period in the U.S. history where Bushes have been in the forefront.

I wish to God she had had an M-4 in her office.

You don't characterize CEOs as dealmakers or in any one particular area. An important characteristic of a CEO is leader. That's probably the most important characteristic.

If you need to conceal your true nature to get in the door, understand that you'll probably have to conceal your true nature to keep that job.